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EMILY

(Submitted 17th September 2006)

Hi im Emily and Im 15 years old and I think I have fibromyalgia. My mum
actually told me to do this to get my feelings out in the open and to talk
to people who are going through what I am. I live in Lanzarote but am
adopted from Sri Lanka. As long as I can remember i have always been in
pain. Whenever i moved i would flinch because my muscles seemed to be tied
in knots. I thought this was normal. I thought everybody felt pain getting
dressed or brushing their teeth but they were tough and coped so i put it
out of my mind. In February last year after suffering in silence and
becoming extremely depressed i developed pneumonia. I didn't realise I had
it for three weeks and carried on going to school as normal. It was only
when i couldn't breathe properly or muster up the energy to hold my head up
that i told my mum. She rushed my to hospital where i stayed for a long
while pumping me full of antibiotics. Both the doctors and my mother were
angry I hadn't let them know i was ill but after all this time any pain, i
feel,just gets pushed to the back of my mind and ignored. One of the doctors
noticed i have very over developed shoulder and neck muscles. They had
always been like that, my mum says i looked like a body builder (thanks
mum). The doctor was concerned and sent me to have a biopsy in Tenerife. It
was the most terrible experience of my life.The doctors treated it like a
joke. When they had to extract the muscle tissue they didn't numb the skin
at all. I felt every cut as i lie there biting my lip to keep from
screaming. When they had finished i felt woozy and nauseous.The results the
obtained from that were i had myasthenia gravis but my doctor ordered a
second opinion. We went to Germany to see one of the top muscle specialists
in the world. He thought it was lipid storage myopathy and did another
biopsy to make sure. Those results were negative. Then we went to Newcastle
to see more specialists and have another biopsy but they are also unable to
give us results. The doctor who started this had been very supportive and
she was the one who said it could be fibromyalgia and we should treat it as
such. Sine looking it up in many books and on the internet and reading
people stories it does sound very possible this is what i may have. I wake
up exhausted in the morning and i stay that way all day i cant concentrate
at school and my memory is bad. I am so tired all the time and the pain is
constant. At school i used to get teased by my friends and they say im
looking for attention or that im lazy. I used to go to school once or twice
a week because i would spend the next few days recovering. Its exhausting to
have people not believe you and i have had people come up to me and tell me
to get over it or that its all in my head. I would never be making this up.
The strain its put on my parents, who recently decided they had to get
divorced, and the rest of my family is terrible. I feel very guilty at times
and i hate myself. I get angry at my mum even though she had done nothing
wrong. Im so frustrated at times and im so angry at myself for not having
the strength to do the things other people my age are. I don't go to school
any more because there is no point and im afraid i may never catch up. Im
glad i have written to you as you have helped me get my feelings out there
and now i know others have been trough the same i feel more hopeful.
Thankyou. Love and good luck to all Emily xxx

bow_4eva@hotmail.com