AICHA TURNER

(submitted 14th November 2005)

16 going on to 80!!!!!!!
I am 22 and this is how it happened:
When i was 16 i had a bad car accident which left me with post traumatic stress disorder which was really bad i wanted to give up almost eveyday of my life!
From that moment on I was never the same again after a week I began to feel
drained from energy and developed a bad sleeping disorder which left me
sleeping by day and waking by night!
I couldnt go to school with an alarm clock I needed my mum to dress me in the mornings and i would cry every morning because of how tired i was. I got left behind big time with school work, which at this time i never
really cared! My family began to notice stuff about me like when I was at home I would
always be laying down and wouldn't breath normally if i was sitting up. My legs felt like they were pulling weights! I was spending more and more time in bed I became worse as i wasn't geting any exercise and I then got breathless after taking just three steps and my heart would hurt so much. So I gave up college after a few months! I gave up many dreams and goals that I wanted to reach. Day by day i watched my body loose control. I couldn't sleep or rest most nights as my muscles would burn and ache all
over. It was hard to explain to anyone that i was in pain 24/7! My fault I guess as no matter how hard times got I always had a smile waiting for someone. When I quit college I spent my years in bed and that made me forget to spell many words which can be embarasing at times. I lost contact with the outside world and stopped going out all together and it got so bad for a few years all I did was go out once for every six to
eight months. When I do go out I panic and want to hide as I developed a phobia!
I hate been labled "lazy" and people these days are so quick to judge. When i turned 21(last year) i thought things couldn't go any worse but they just did i developed a lung disesase and found it hard to go to hospital and I havent been in months because i always suffered in silence i developed "manic depression" which is all about mood swings one minute i am so happy and the next without warning I am angry. Things have got so bad i cant walk anymore. I cant plan my day or stick to a routine or do anything i just sit there burning. Even my jaw
started to hurt which is common in some cases. Most people who suffer this problem have a sleeping disorder and I learnt
that most of us dont sleep well calling it "unrefreshed sleep" thats why
we are always so tired. This problem feels like been disabled